Around nine months ago, I said I was quitting writing to finally focus on my studying.
I think I did exactly that,
Because I’m about to graduate and start work at a “real” job I never thought I would get,
(and one I’m very happy to have),
So I think that just maybe,
It’s about time to write again.
Over the past nine months,
I’ve also had the incredible opportunity to see a lot of places,
And more importantly,
Meet a lot of different people,
So for my first post in a while,
I’d like to write about a few of them and ultimately,
About a girl.
So I decided to stay at Georgetown Law another year to get my Tax LLM on top of my JD.
Although I joke with friends that I’m “pulling a Van Wilder,”
Or that I’m only staying to meet Tiffany Trump,
The reality is that I’ve finally started to take my future seriously,
And I’d like to test myself in Georgetown Law’s most prestigious program and succeed academically and professionally.
When I told this to my academic advisor she said,
“That sounds great. But what about your writing?”
She’s helped me since the beginning,
When I showed up in her office and told her I’d like to be a “famous star in LA,”
Or when I said I didn’t apply for Law Review because I was playing Playstation,
So I told her the truth again and said that I didn’t know if I’d ever write again.
I turned 25 over the weekend,
And like most people,
I checked who posted, “Happy birthday” on my Facebook Wall throughout the day.
I don’t know why I did that,
Because I know it doesn’t necessarily mean anything,
But it still felt nice to see a good friend post something like,
“Happy birthday! What are your plans for tonight?”
I would’ve replied,
But then I would’ve felt obliged to reply to everyone,
And because I didn’t feel like doing that at the time,
I figured I’d do what I always try to do on my birthday and write.
The plan was to go to Georgetown Law’s Barrister’s Ball,
And if you don’t know,
It’s basically Law School Prom,
Just at a much nicer venue:
The National Building Museum.
Like high school, though,
It starts at 9PM (and you’re not allowed to enter after 10 30PM),
So when a friend invited me to a pregame starting around 8PM,
I didn’t know if I would make it.
I was having dinner with my mother and my brother at 5 30PM,
And although that should have been more than enough time,
They told me that we were going to Fiola Mare,
Which sounded like a place where you sit,
Have a drink,
And admire the view before even ordering your appetizer.
The night before I stopped writing this summer,
I texted this girl.
I really shouldn't have,
Because it's usually not a good idea to text someone in the middle of the night,
But that night,
I just needed someone to tell me that I'm not crazy,
That she believes in me,
And that one day,
I'll achieve my dreams.
So when I woke up and saw that she replied,
I was happy,
Until I read that it was another guy telling me not to talk to her again.
Trying to make it as an artist for five years had already taken its toll,
And after reading that text,
I thought that maybe some things just aren't meant to be.
So I guess I did what any rational person would do:
I deleted my Facebook Page,
Redoubled my efforts at my "real job,"
And tried to forget about everything when I went on vacation later that summer.
I was actually going to visit my Dad in Switzerland,
And because he now lives in a nice house on Lake Geneva,
That should have done the trick,
But then I remembered that when I visited him in the previous winter,
I was still happiest when this girl texted me back.
Geneva is nicer in the summer,
So I thought that maybe this time,
I would forget about her.
It was my birthday a few days ago,
So to everyone who wished me the best,
And to those of you who have supported me since I started writing five years ago,
Thank you even more because it’s been an incredible journey.
Five years ago,
I remember being a 19-year-old student at UVA,
And if you’ve never been to UVA,
It’s a pretty superficial place.
I’m not saying that it’s not a great school,
Because I learned a lot,
And I don’t want to give the impression that I had a bad time there,
Because I made some great friends and had some of the best times of my life.
It seemed like most people were trying to be “a somebody”,
And anyone who has ever stepped on campus (or Grounds, I should say),
Will know exactly what I mean.
In any event,
I definitely wasn’t too popular or anything,
But one day,
I remember looking around and thinking,
“Instead of trying to be a somebody in this school,
Why don’t I try to become a somebody in the world?”
And to a 19 year old,
It seemed like the best way to do that was to become rich and famous.
I didn’t know exactly how I would do that,
But I did love writing,
And I thought I was pretty good at it,
So I decided to become a writer and thought that as long as I worked hard enough,
My dream of traveling the world with a beautiful girl would come true.
A month ago,
I found myself in the backseat of a Bentley.
Don’t get me wrong,
I wasn’t kidnapped or anything.
I just mean that I was drinking with a long lost,
Friend of mine,
And after starting the night off at a bar with other friends and acquaintances,
We drove to a club to celebrate his birthday.
I don’t know why we drove,
Because as it turns out,
The club was just down the street.
But before I knew it,
An acquaintance suggested we drive in what he casually referred to as “my car”,
Which just happened to be a Bentley.
I’m not going to lie.
It felt nice.
But right before we entered the club,
I understood what another well-off friend meant when he said,
“You know, this is alright, but after a while, it all just becomes a routine.”
I can’t remember much after that,
Because like I said,
It was a long lost friend’s birthday.
But I do remember meeting this beautiful girl.
I think she was at a table nearby,
And I think I might have told her I’d be a famous artist one day.
In any case,
I ended up talking to this beauty blogger who actually has fans around the world,
And the crazy thing is,
When I messaged her my website the next day,
She told me she liked my writing and to keep chasing my dreams.
I was happy,
When I woke up,
I was happier to see that this other girl texted me back.
At the end of the night,
When I was drunk,
I texted this girl a thousand miles away with a series of texts that basically said,
“How are you”
“I know it’s late” (at least it was for me)
“But if you’re there”
“I’d like to talk to you”
“Even if it’s just to say hello”
She didn’t respond right away.
She did the next day,
And even though she said nothing more than,
“How are you”
“I hope you’re doing well”
I forgot about the beautiful girl and the Bentley.
A year ago, I got coffee with this girl at school.
I know it doesn’t sound like much,
But it meant much more to me than just coffee because she was the first girl I wrote about.
At the time,
I was writing about either trying to become famous or struggling in law school,
But ever since we had coffee,
I’ve been writing about trying to find the girl of my dreams.
In my original post about her, though,
I was worried I sounded like I only liked her because she looked nice,
So I deleted it,
But I think I only reinforced that perception in a subsequent (and now deleted) post,
So I wanted to write about her today and hopefully,
This time I’ll get it right.
A year ago,
I met this girl in an elevator,
And I can’t remember what I said (probably because it was stupid).
I said something,
She said something back,
And it turned out we lived in the same place for a while without realizing it.
So we exchanged numbers and a few days later,
We agreed to have coffee.
I was happy,
But I was slightly worried because the morning of,
She texted me and said if we could push coffee back a few hours because she was sick,
And I was worried she’d be coughing all over me.
When we met a few hours later,
She didn’t look sick at all.
She just looked nice.
I remember thinking everything was going alright until we got to Starbucks.
There was a long line and two cashiers were taking orders.
She went to the first cashier.
I was going to follow her and offer to pay,
But when the second cashier yelled,
I walked to the second cashier without thinking.
I know it was just coffee,
And I know girls don’t expect you to pay for everything,
But I still felt guilty.
Luckily for me,
She acted as if nothing had happened,
And we sat outside and did nothing but talk for a while.
I remember talking about where we grew up,
What schools we went to,
What brought us to law school,
How we were worried about grades,
Where we thought we’d be in a few years,
Whether we’d actually like the work we’d be doing,
What we liked outside of law school,
What our parents did,
How our parents were getting older,
Which meant that we were getting older too,
And in between all of that,
She mentioned the fact that she had a boyfriend.
I think if she had told me that before we had coffee,
I would have been disappointed,
But when she mentioned that in the middle of our conversation,
I didn’t care because I was just happy to talk to her.
Like I said in my previous post,
I was happy because she was pretty,
And in a superficial way,
I think it’s always nice to be with a pretty girl in any situation because guys give you respect and girls get jealous.
I was happier because it was the first time I had just sat and talked to a girl in a while.
I had been chasing my dream of becoming a famous artist for so long,
I had forgotten how nice it was to just relax for a second,
Talk to a girl,
And enjoy the fall before it became winter,
So when she told me that,
I don’t think it changed anything at all besides the fact that after that day,
I started writing about finding the One instead of about trying to become famous.
The last thing I remember about that day is saying goodbye to her,
And I was actually going to text her that I had a great time but I didn’t,
Partly because she had a boyfriend,
But mostly because I had this mistaken notion that this other girl was my soulmate.
I’m not saying this coffee girl was my soulmate, either, and to be honest,
The last thing I want to do right now is look for anyone,
Or write about finding the One,
Because every time I think I’ve found her,
I just end up disappointed.
All I’m saying is,
I had a nice time with her,
This post conveys that.
So in the meantime,
Maybe I’ll go back to writing about trying to become famous…
It’s interview week at Georgetown Law,
And before meeting a prestigious firm this morning,
I was nervous.
I wish I were more composed,
But in a way,
I was glad to be nervous because it meant I cared about my performance.
I was nervous,
And when the interviewer asked me,
“How has law school changed you?”
I said the first thing that came to mind, which was,
“It’s made me look for the girl of my dreams.”
I don’t know if that’s the answer he was looking for, (probably not),
But it was the truth,
And I regret that I didn’t express what I really meant,
Which was that although I’ve always looked for my dream girl,
Law school changed her definition for the better forever.
I used to think it’d be nice to just be with a beautiful girl,
But after a year at Georgetown Law,
I realized it’s much nicer to have someone to talk to,
Someone who knows what you’re going through,
And someone who’ll tell you everything will be OK even when it won’t.
Like this summer,
I was talking to this girl,
And by talking,
I mean exactly that because we were in different cities physically.
I didn’t even have any expectations when we started.
I was bored from playing Playstation so I texted her.
I don’t know why I suddenly did because I hadn’t talked to her in a while,
But I remembered that the last time I did,
She was fun to talk to.
In any event,
I said something and wrote “haha” at the end,
She said something with “haha” back,
And before I knew it,
She was driving me beautifully crazy.
I don’t know how she did it,
Because I really don’t talk to a lot of people,
Let alone talk to them about my hopes, fears, and insecurities,
But I’d text her at night before I fell sleep and hope that she’d reply before I woke up,
And if she did,
I was happy.
I was happier to see a text from her than if I had actually been talking to a girl.
Like one Saturday night,
I was at this party where I was actually talking to a pretty girl.
There was a spark and I thought it might turn into something more,
Until I looked at my phone and saw that this girl texted me back.
I didn’t think she would because my last text was the day before,
But when I saw that she did,
I neither cared about the pretty girl nor the party anymore.
I was just thinking about what to say to her the next day,
How to say it,
And the last thing I remember about that night is falling asleep hoping that whatever I did end up saying,
She would keep the conversation going.
That’s what I really meant to say in my interview today when I said,
"Law school has made me look for the girl of my dreams."
The funny thing is, though,
Before I left,
The interviewer smiled and said,
"I hope you find her"
And I hope I find her too.
Hopefully tomorrow, though,
I won't be so nervous during my interviews...
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