Around nine months ago, I said I was quitting writing to finally focus on my studying.
I think I did exactly that,
Because I’m about to graduate and start work at a “real” job I never thought I would get,
(and one I’m very happy to have),
So I think that just maybe,
It’s about time to write again.
Over the past nine months,
I’ve also had the incredible opportunity to see a lot of places,
And more importantly,
Meet a lot of different people,
So for my first post in a while,
I’d like to write about a few of them and ultimately,
About a girl.
A week or so ago,
At an international tax conference in Scotland,
I was staring at my phone in a bar when an Italian friend came up to me and asked,
“Christian, what’s wrong?”
“A girl,” I said.
“Donna? No, no. Donna is not a problem. Il treno non passa mai una sola volta.”
“There are many trains at the station. They come, they go. So no, donna is not a problem.”
His Italian is better than his English,
And my English is better than my Italian,
So something probably got lost in translation.
In any event,
It made me laugh at the time,
But over the next week,
I thought about his phrase when I wasn’t drinking in a bar and still thought about this girl.
Like right now,
I’m talking to this girl,
And I think she’s amazing.
I didn’t think she was initially.
I only started talking to her because she said something very silly when we were in a group,
And I felt bad for her because no one responded and she was standing there alone.
I was glad I did, though,
Because as it turns out,
Not only is she very pretty,
She just might have as many insecurities as me,
Which made me open up to her in a way I haven’t opened up to anyone in a while.
Like these days,
When someone asks me what I do,
“I’m studying tax law at Georgetown and will be practicing very soon,”
Which is true.
But to her,
I remember revealing that a part of me still believes I’m an artist,
And when she asked me why I stopped writing,
I told her that I couldn’t write what I felt anymore.
I told her that art is based on a feeling,
And to me,
The best feeling is when you really like someone,
But that unfortunately,
The moment you reveal how you feel about a girl,
She seems to not like you anymore.
This girl looked at me and said,
I’ve heard enough girls say that to not believe them,
But like I said,
There was something about her that made me trust her.
Fast forward to a few days ago,
And after doing exactly that,
It seems like any chance I thought we had is probably over.
In the grand scheme of things,
It’s not the end of the world,
Because like my Italian friend said (or might have said),
There are many girls at the train station.
I don’t mean to say that girls are trains or anything like that,
Because I was in Zurich a few months ago,
And it was one of the most beautiful places I had seen in the world.
It still wasn’t as nice as being with a special girl who can make ordinary things extraordinary,
Like lying in the grass and watching the clouds together,
And a good friend who talks to quite a few girls recently said something similar.
He was talking about his new girlfriend and how they met and all that when suddenly,
He surprised me by saying,
“You know, I only started talking to this girl because I wasn’t ready to commit to this other girl.”
“You had just gotten out of a long-term relationship. I understand.”
“I know, but the thing is, I thought she would always be there for me when I was ready. But now, she’s with someone else, and it wasn’t until she was gone that I realized just how much I miss her.”
Ultimately, he doesn’t regret his choice,
And from what I can tell,
This new girl he’s talking to is great,
And that’s all I’m trying to say when I say there are a lot of girls at the train station.
Life moves pretty fast,
So I know before long,
I’ll meet someone new to worry about in some bar.
Like a month or so ago,
I ran into this girl in New York City who I used to think was the girl of my dreams a year ago.
She looked exactly the same,
And her personality was just as nice,
She had become a girl from reality,
At least to me.
So I know if that can happen to her,
It can happen to this girl I’m talking to right now.
But I wish it wouldn’t.
Like I said,
I think she’s amazing,
And more than that,
It would mean starting over at the very beginning with a silly conversation with someone else.
So I hope my instincts are wrong,
And I really hope that we still have a chance at something,
Even though writing about her is probably the end of everything.
But if my instincts are right,
Then I guess it’s back to the beginning,
And at the very least,
She made me start writing again.
So if you read this,
I hope you enjoyed it,
And I’ll try to keep writing.
Until next time…
Absolutely no copyright infringement is intended. Although I have a Creative Commons copyright for all my work, all images, audio, text, and video that I post that are not mine are the sole propriety of their respective owners. Furthermore, these posts express my personal thoughts, and should not be attributed to either my employer or my school.